Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
