And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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