I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
