Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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