i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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