hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize