"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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