I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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