And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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