I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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