Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
