As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
