she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
