Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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