Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
