y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
