Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
