That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
