no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
