Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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