I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
