He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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