You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
