forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
