WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize