Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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