Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
