You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
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I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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