I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize