Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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