Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
