But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize