I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
