OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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