Me. At least after what I've been through.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
FUCK WHALES
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
