I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
