this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
