1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
