I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
