how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
