Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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