I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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