I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
