I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize