so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
