my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
