Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
