discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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