garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
