There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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