why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
