Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
