We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize