i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
not ubering you a puppy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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