dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
