Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
