what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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