I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
